Fear is something every freshman should have felt when moving into college. Throughout the day, I constantly shook with fear due to the thought that I had just moved my belongings into my new room. This would mark the beginning of my first year being a functional adult without my parents. Laundry on my own? Scary! Cleaning my room and making my bed on my own? Terrifying! It’s hard when one loves their parents enough to be home with them every second of the day, or the opposite, wanting to get away from them. Going away to college either way was still going to be hard.
For me, I did not know how to react or feel. Sad? Happy? Excited? Nauseous? I could not gure it out. When my parents and best friend nished setting up my side of the room, we all hugged each other and said our goodbyes, but it did not feel real. When they closed the door to my room, it hit me, I was on my own. Left to be an adult, to meet people, to do things myself for once. It was all so weird. The weekend was not so quiet, there were events left and right, but I still did not know where I stood.
I was just waiting for the weekend to be over and start classes, so I could have a set schedule. I always feel safe on a set schedule. There were multiple times within the next two days where I got the same speech over and over again, I could not help but roll my eyes. “You’ll meet friends soon,” they said. “Give it a week.” So, I did just that. I listened to their advice even though I thought they were just saying that because they saw a scared, naive freshman.
I attended all my classes, talked to some people, but continued to stay inside my dorm while people hung out by the quad. In this new setting, I was jealous that other freshmen were so open to each other and that they were quick to nd their friend groups. I decided it was time to stop being shy and give myself a chance to make friends.
Two weeks later I’m sitting here writing this article and I think to myself; “Wait, this is the class I got lost finding my first day?” or “Why was I so scared to talk to them?” Now, I feel so comfortable going to my classes, talking to people I had never seen before, emailing my professors, asking endless questions about assignments, and whatever else the typical freshman was hesitant to do their first week. Without saying, I am glad I survived the rst few weeks, but I am in no way saying the easy part is over. I am not looking forward to piles and piles of work, the all-nighters I spend as a result of putting o work, or the tests. I will say I have my seatbelt buckled for whatever ride Manhattanville takes me on.